See If Your 'Gods' Can Help You Or Why You Should Never Anger An Elf
by RodaRolla2
Summary: Princess Alexandra and Prince Hector are the adoptive children of Priam, King of Troy. On foreign diplomatic affairs, Alexandra is named as Prince Paris. She helps Helen escape her abusive husband one day, triggering a war. She duels Menelaus and bests him, but is captured during the ensuing battle. Arwen finds this out. Woe be unto you, Greeks. Woe be unto you.


I laughed merrily at something my new friend said. I was fresh back from a diplomatic trip with my brother, Hector, to Sparta. While there, I found King Menelaus's beautiful wife, Helen. I instantly liked her and talked to her every chance I got. I got to know her quite well, because of this. I found out about her abuse at the hands of her husband. My heart wept for her. The night before we left, I urged to come with me back to Troy. She readily agreed. My brother was not happy when he found out that I had snuck her away when we had gone to secure peace with Sparta, however, he relented when Helen told him her story. We knew that Menelaus would not let this offence go, especially since I had been introduced as Prince Paris, rather than my true name for this land which was Princess Alexandra. He would figure that I had taken Helen as my lover and whisked her away so as to have her for myself. I was torn from my remembrance as I heard the booming laugh of the one called Ajax as he slaughtered Trojan soldiers. I sighed and glanced at the horizon, wishing for the ship that would carry Hector, Helen, and I back to Eryn Lasgalen. We had packed up and sent word to my step-father for him to send a ship to come and get us. I was forced to pack Hector's things when he was called to lead the army against the invading Greeks.

"PARIS OF TROY!" I heard the Spartan king boom. I got up and moved to the edge of the wall to look down at the battle raging on, easily spotting the brute.

"Pe-channas!" I shouted, mirth coloring my features. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Hector laughing at my way of addressing the Spartan as he fought the soldiers.

"I challenge you to a duel! Just us! If I win, Troy will be Greece's and I will reclaim Helen and your head will be mine! If you win, we will withdraw and you may keep Helen!" He boomed. I could see Hector stop laughing and the battle seemed to grind to a halt as all eyes turned to me. The Trojans turned a murderous gaze upon Menelaus for daring to challenge their beloved youngest princess. I looked around at my family. King Priam had paled and a look of anger had crossed his features. Queen Hecuba looked as if she was going to faint. Andromache reached out to me as if to hide me in her arms.

"Vá!" He jerked his head back with a look of horror in his eyes. I looked at Helen and saw that she was pale and shaking.

"I ACCEPT YOUR CHALLENGE!" I shouted. "WE SHALL FIGHT TILL ONE OF US IS DEAD OR CAN NO LONGER FIGHT!"

"Gin iallon avo garo!" Hector screamed at me. I met his eyes, willing him to understand that I will not be swayed. He seemed to understand, though it was obvious that he hated it.

"Tomorrow is when we shall fight. There will be no more battle today!" I shouted back at him.

"Deal! Prepare to meet your death!" He laughed. The soldiers withdrew and I turned around.

Hecuba had fainted, Priam looked horrified and resigned, Helen was sobbing, and all of a sudden I was wrapped in Andromache's arms.

"Alexandra, why? You shouldn't have agreed to that! We will be forced to watch you be slaughtered!" She sobbed. I wrapped my arms around her and rubbed her back.

"Have hope, Andromache. I will be victorious tomorrow, you will see. The Greeks will leave and all will return to normal." I said. "You will see. I will go to the lands I go to for my best gifts and I'll bring back Astyanax the most special gifts I can find for his birthing day." My attention was drawn to Hector storming to where I was standing.

"I need to speak to my sister. Alone." He said. Priam just nodded at the rage on his face. Hector grabbed my arm and drug me down the hall to my chambers. He slammed the door behind us. "WHAT IN THE NAME OF ELBERETH DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING!" He screamed at me. "Do you think of this as some game to be played! Menelaus wants to kill you! Do you think he will just stop if you say that you cannot go on!" I grabbed his shoulders.

"Himon! Muindor!" I sighed. "I know all of this! I thought of all that before I accepted and laid down the terms! I have survived the Siege of Helm's Deep, the Battle of Pelenor Fields, the Battle of the Five Armies! I have outlived the interest of Sauron himself! I have seen a Balrog of Morgoth, Durin's Bane no less, and lived to tell the tale! I have survived all this and more, what is one angry king against hundreds of thousands of Orcs and Uruks? What is an army of Greeks against five armies of orcs? They have nothing on them! You know this just as well as I do!"

"I worry about you, Muinthel." He sighed. I was suddenly hit with a thought. An image came to mind of Lurtz, the murderer of my friend Boromir, and it merged with a Greek. It was not Menelaus, or even his brother Agamemnon. It was Ajax.

"Actually, there is one Greek I'm worried about." I said.

"It is Achilles, isn't it?" Hector said. "If it is, I understand your fear." I thought of Achilles and he seemed to merge with Boromir and my dear friend Eomer, nephew and heir to King Theoden of Rohan.

"No it is not. He seems to me like Boromir and Eomer." I shook my head. "I have observed him. I often hide among the enemy camp to listen on their plans. I find myself drawn to observe him and his interactions with Patroclus, his cousin. It reminds me of Eomer and his interactions with his comrades and sister. Boromir and his interactions with the younger halflings on the journey. He also looks like a physical mesh of the two. I believe his heart is golden, though he tries to hide it. Another comparison between the Greek and my friends, he is a fearsome warrior to his foes, showing no other side. That is the way of Eomer and Boromir. But then, out of sight of his enemies, he shows his compassion for those he likes and his men." I smiled. "There are others that I liken to old friends, now that I think of it."

"Oh?" He raised an eyebrow. "Do tell."

"Odysseus of Ithaca reminds me of Mithrandir." I said. "He has wisdom and power in his eyes. He leads his men wisely, much as Mithrandir did throughout the journey to destroy Sauron forever."

"Who else?" He chuckled. I could tell he saw it too.

"Nestor is like Adar." I said. "Wise and fair. Knowledgable about things that have went on in the world and always ready to give advice." I laughed. He joined in, agreeing. "But the Greek I'm worried about is Ajax."

"That brute? I understand your fear of him, Little Leaf." Hector frowned.

"I don't think you really do, Himon." I said. "You were not there as I watch Boromir, my comfort in the depths of Moria, die on the forest floor at the hill of Amon Hen. Ajax reminds me of Boromir's murderer, an Uruk Hai known as Lurtz. Lurtz sunk three arrows into Boromir's chest and ordered the younger Halflings to be taken. Lurtz would have done more to torture Boromir, had Aragorn not arrived when he did and fought him off. Aragorn killed him, but nothing could save Boromir. Boromir died far away from his beloved Minas Tirith, because of Lurtz. Ajax is cruel and ruthless just like Lurtz. I have no illusions of that. Ajax is the embodiment of my demons that have followed me here: grief over my friends lost in the nightmare of the saga of the One Ring of Power, the fear over what new and more powerful enemies would arise to challenge that which I love, the cruelty of war, and so much more. Himon, that is truly my biggest battle. Dueling with Menelaus is not a challenge. It is facing my demons that have come to haunt me in Ajax that is my biggest battle." He pulled me into a hug.

"I will not allow Ajax to come near you, should a battle occur tomorrow. I promise you that, Legolas. I promise you that, Little Sister." He kissed the top of my head. I buried my head into his chest and started to sob. I sobbed once again for Boromir, for the Trojans who were slaughtered at the gates, I sobbed for what I would face the next day, for deep in my bones I knew something was going to happen tomorrow that would devastate Troy and most of all Hector, my brother whose true name was Himon, just as mine was Legolas. "Uich gwennen na 'wanath ah na dhín. An uich gwennen na ringyrn ambar hen. Boe naid bain gwannathar, boe cuil ban naer gwannathach…" His voice washed over me and I felt calm in a way I have not been since I was an Elfling in our true home of what was once known as Greenwood the Great, now as Mirkwood.

I was shaken awake. I looked to see who woke me up. It was the nurse of Astyanax.

"I'm sorry to wake you! But, Princess Andromache is with the King and Queen and Prince Hector is back with the soldiers! Astyanax won't stop crying, no matter what we do! He always seems to calm down for you!" She quickly. I rose and threw on a robe. I followed her to Astyanax's nursery. I took my nephew from another one of his nurses and started to rock him.

"There's a Road, calling you to stray. Step by step, pulling you away. Under Moon and Star, take the Road, no matter how far." I sung softly. My singing had often lulled him to sleep and allowed for Andromache and his nurses to get some much need peace and quiet. "Where it leads, no-one ever knows, don't look back, Follow where it beyond the Sun, take the Road, wherever it runs." This was a song written by a Hobbit long ago with some Elvish thrown in. Frodo sometimes sang it on our journey. "The Road goes on ever ever on. Hill by hill. Mile by mile. Field by by stile. The Road goes on ever ever on. The Road goes on ever ever on. Hill by hill. Mile by mile. Field by field. Stile by stile. The Road goes on ever ever on." I thought about how this song could apply to me right now. Troy was just a stop on my life's Road. What I will face tomorrow is a crossroads. How I approach it and the outcome will determine which way my road will take. "Mountain and valley and pasture and meadow, stretching unending, for mile after mile. Fenland and moorland and shoreline and canyon, bordered by hurdle and hedgerow and stile." This was the perfect thing to sing, as it was alerting me to the choices I had. "One more mile, then it's time to eat. Pick some pears, succulent and sweet. To the farthest shore. Take the Road, a hundred miles more. Sweet pink trout, tickled form a stream. Milk a goat, churn it into cream." I remembered that there was always something good in everything, though we may never see it. No matter the outcome of the duel tomorrow, something good will happen. "Far beyond the Sun, take the Road wherever it runs. The Road goes on ever ever on. Moor by moor. Glen by glen. Vale by vale. Fen by fen. The Road goes on ever ever on." No matter where we go, no matter how bleak things are, there is always hope. "See the Road flows past your doorstep calling for your feet to stray. Like a deep and rolling river, it will sweep them far away. Just beyond the far horizon, lies a waiting world unknown. Like the dawn, its beauty beckons with a wonder all its own." Adventures await every step. The world is waiting to be explored. It has a way of getting you there. "N?menna! Auti i r?. Yallume! Hilya! N?menna! Auti i r?. Yallume! Hilya! Hilya! Hilya! Auta. Hilya! N?menna! Auti i r?. Yallume! Hilya!" Astyanax was almost asleep by now. I heard Andromache's footsteps coming down the hall. "Mountain and valley and pasture and meadow, stretching unending for mile after mile. Fenland and moorland and shoreline and canyon, bordered by hurdle and hedgerow and stile." He finally had fallen asleep and I smiled at Andromache.

"He wouldn't calm down for the nurses, would he?" She asked as she took him from me.

"Yeah. I didn't mind singing for him, though. It gave me some peace of mind for tomorrow." I said. "Good night, Andromache." I said.

Hector and I stood in front of the Greek army the following morning, feeling several emotions. I glanced over at all of them. My eyes met those of Odysseus, King of Ithaca. I saw wisdom and power in them. An image of Mithandir came to my mind. I continued to look over the Greeks. My eyes met those of Ajax. I barely suppressed a shudder. The malice in those eyes brought back memories of Amon Hen that I did not need right before this duel. Lastly my eyes met those of Achilles. He seemed amused that I was going to fight Menelaus.

"Remember, Muinthel, he is large and powerful, but he is not young. You are young and swift. He'll be going at you with all his power and rage at the insult you delivered him, evade using your Elven speed. Tire him out, then strike. You are familiar with this tactic. It's simple, but effective." Hector said. "If you need aid, come to me. The honor of Paris will not matter. Everyone except the Greeks know that you are a princess named Alexandra, not a prince named Paris."

"Brother, my pride and reputation as one of the Elven folk's most dangerous fighters in on the line here, I don't want to ruin it." I snorted.

"No one from Middle-earth is here besides me and you. No one would know." Hector rolled his eyes.

"Arwen would. Arwen knows all when it concerns her counterpart." I said seriously. "I would never live it down."

"That matters nothing. Just, be careful, okay?" Hector sighed.

"I will." I said as I put my helmet on and grabbed my shield. I walked over to where the Spartan was standing with his sword drawn. I gulped_. 'Elbereth, please watch over me. Aluë, please don't let my weapon, shield, or armor break. Tulkas, lend me your strength in this battle. Nessa, grant me your speed so that I may avoid the blows that would fell me. Mandos, grant me not passage into your halls this day, so that I may still walk the land of the living as a survivor of this duel.'_ I gulped again as he laughed and threw away his shield. Valar help me, what have I gotten myself into? He swung at me and I sidestepped. He continued to swing, but I seemed to dance out of the way of every strike. In my mind, I heard the laugh of Tulkas. I smirked and threw down my shield. I continued to dance around every strike, but I started to dash in and do some striking of my own. It was no serious strike, but rather cuts that on their own would be easily ignored, but together would hinder his ability to fight. I continued like this for a while, tiring him out with the powerful strikes that missed and my own cuts that caused him to bleed. Finally, I had tired him out and I thrust my sword into his shoulder, ripped it out, and kicked him hard enough to send him back to the Greek lines a ways. "IT IS OVER!" I shouted. However much I had wounded the Spartan, he had managed to get a cut on my arm. It wasn't major, but I should seek medical attention soon to prevent infection from setting in. The Trojans cheered loudly and I let my musical laugh join the din. Suddenly the Greeks charged. I cursed and fell back. Looks like there will be a battle after all. Damn it all to the Void! I resigned myself to the fact that medical attention would not be in my immediate future. I fought to reunite with my brother, but was delayed by many foes.

"BEHIND YOU MUINTHEL!" I heard my brother scream. I whirled around only to be greeted by Ajax's terrible mug and then nothingness.

Hector's POV

I watched in horror as Ajax threw my little sister's unconscious body over his shoulder. I felt rage bubble up from the depths of my being_. 'Tulkas, grant me your strength so that I may destroy Ajax for daring to touch my sister! Mandos, let her not pass into your halls this day!'_ I tried to fight my way to my quickly retreating sister.

"PRIAM OF TROY! HECTOR OF TROY! CALL OFF YOUR MEN OR WE WILL SLIT THE PRINCE'S THROAT!" I gaped in horror as I saw Ajax holding a knife to my unconscious sister's throat. There were two cries for our men to stand down.

"RELEASE HIM!" I shouted.

"WE WILL ON SEVERAL CONDITIONS: ONE, OUR MEN CAN RETURN TO THE SHIPS UNHARMED. TWO, WE MAY LEAVE UNHINDERED." Agamemnon replied.

"ACCEPTED! NOW RELEASE HIM!" Priam shouted.

"WE WILL RETURN TO THE SHIP AND THROW HIM OVER WHEN WE HAVE LEFT THE BEACH!" Agamemnon replied. All color drained from my face. Oh Eru Ilúvatar, please do not let them do it when she was still unconscious!

"AGAMEMNON! LET ME FOLLOW BEHIND SO THAT I MAY GET PARIS WHEN THE LAST GREEK IS OFF THE BEACH!" I shouted, hoping to the Creator himself that I would be allowed to and furthermore that I would not need to do it.

"YOU MAY!" Was the reply. I followed behind and stopped at the beach as the ships pushed off the beach. I saw that my sister was waking up. Thank Eru for small mercies! Within moments, Agamemnon's ship was the last ship to be pushed off.

"Return my brother, Agamemnon! We have upheld our end of the bargain!" I shouted. I was met with laughter.

"Foolish boy! Paris stole Helen! He will now take the place of Helen at my brother's side." Agamemnon said. I didn't realize that I had started to cry. "Say goodbye! If we see any Trojan ships following us, we will slit his pretty throat!" Came the last taunting reply.

"**ULMO, KING OF THE SEAS! CURSE AGAMEMNON AND MENELAUS ON THEIR JOURNEY TO THEIR MORGOTH-INFESTED HOLES THAT THEY CALL HOME! MAY THEY EXPERIENCE STORMS AS NEVER SEEN BEFORE! DESTROY THEIR MISERABLE FLEET AND LEAVE NONE SAVE LEGOLAS ALIVE! TULKAS, CHAMPION OF VALINOR, GRANT ME NOT REST NOR PEACE UNTIL I HAVE BROUGHT LEGOLAS BACK ALIVE! MANDOS, GRANT THEM NO PASSAGE TO YOUR HALLS FOR ALL ETERNITY! NIENNA, GRANT THESE PROMISE BREAKERS NO COMFORT OR MERCY! YAVANNA, CURSE THEIR LANDS TO BRING FORTH NO FOOD!"** I continued my prayer to the Valar to curse the ones who have taken my sister. I had fallen to my knees with my head bowed during my prayer. When it was over, I looked up and met the eyes of Agamemnon. I could see fear creep into his eyes. Good. Morgoth hath no fury like an Elf scorned.

Paris/ Legolas POV

I watched my brother lift his head up after his prayer of vengeance to the Valar. I could feel the fear creep into every Greek observer as they saw the transformation of my brother. A fire was burning in his eyes, gone was the beard and curly hair. Hard, but elegant, angles showed and long dark hair fell over his shoulders, revealing his pointed Elven ears. His face was contorted into an expression of rage and bloodlust, the path his tears had taken down his face was still visible.

"You will all die." I said. "You will all die because of greed and promise breaking." Agamemnon turned angry eyes on me. "You will die. Ajax will die. Your brother will die. Your men will die. Your lands will be conquered and if he is feeling merciful, then and only then, will the women and children not be enslaved." I was backhanded viciously by Menelaus.

"Mind your tongue, boy!" He growled at me.

"I noticed that you did not name Nestor, Odysseus, or Achilles." Agamemnon snarled.

"I have professed them as like to old friends of mine, which means that I like them. Their men and they will be spared." I grinned. "You will die, because Morgoth hath no fury like an Elf scorned."

**A/N:** Well, I was out of school yesterday and I was listening to this song 'Playing with the Big Boys Now' from this old movie I used to watch called Prince of Egypt. By old, I mean I watched it on VCR and cannot watch it anymore since I no longer have a VCR player and have no idea where said VCR tape is. How many of you guys have even seen that movie? Anyways, I was listening to that and all of a sudden, I saw Menelaus on this raised platform above all of Sparta with Arwen and Tauriel do a modified version of that song with a fem!Legolas chained to a wall, watching on with a smirk as those two terrified him. Well, as soon as I saw that, I knew I had to write a story. So, take Elf!Hector and fem!Legolas-Paris and snarking and insults in Elvish towards Greeks. Sadly, that scene will be coming later, since I need to set up the story first. Next chapter will be the Journey to and arrival at Sparta. Then chapter three will be that scene. Look up the song from Prince of Egypt. It's awesome.

So, translation time!

Pe-channas = idiot  
Vá = No. You jerk your head back when you use this way of saying no  
Gin iallon avo garo! = I beg you don't do it!  
Muindor = Brother  
Muinthel = Sister  
Mithrandir = Gandalf  
Eryn Lasgalen = Mirkwood. That is what the Mirkwood Elves prefer their kingdom to be called.  
Adar = Father. Legolas calls Elrond this, since he thinks of him as his other parent since he was a baby when his mother was killed.  
Uich gwennen na 'wanath ah na dhín. An uich gwennen na ringyrn ambar hen. Boe naid bain gwannathar, boe cuil ban naer gwannathach… = You are not bound to loss and silence.

For you are not bound to the circles of this world. All things must pass away, All life is doomed to fade… Sorrowing you must go, [and yet you are not without hope]. This is called The Breath of Life. It was sung in The Two Towers by Aragorn. 

Other items:

The song Legolas-Paris sings to Astyanax is called The Road Goes On. It's from the Lord of the Rings Musical.

_Text in Italics is thoughts  
_**Text in Bold is Elvish that I could not translate**

Review and tell me what you think! Thanks for your time!


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